Some people just don't get it ...
I have spent a good part of this morning trying to put a 14-year-old girl back together.
This girl has a troubled and complex home life. She often comes here for some time out, and while at school has access to good professional counselling. However, it's holiday time, and today she needed to talk about something her mother had said to her.
Apparently she will not go to heaven because she does not respect her parents. She was told that she has in fact failed God and her faith (Catholic, although that's not important), by being insufficiently respectful. For a person with faith, (which, amazingly, she still has), this is a terrible thing.
When I was growing up I was taught that respect is earned, not an automatic response. Fortunately, I had parents it was easy to respect. They did not belittle me, hit me, or inflict emotional abuse. My young friend is not so fortunate.
It is very hard to bite down anger in a situation like this. Using God as a weapon, whatever your beliefs, has to be wrong. Threatening a child with eternal horrors as a consequence of her perceived behaviour is also wrong. And claiming to hold the moral high ground in Christian values while perpetrating emotional and physical abuse is just obscene.
Earlier today I was responding to something on E.L. Wisty's blog, where the discussion was related in part to atrocities committed in the name of religion. Now I find myself with one microcosmic example of a wider syndrome. The trouble is, in each microcosm a human being is being hurt.
"Whatever happened to all that lovely hippy shit?".
Don't know, Pete. I think we could all use a little of it now though.
This girl has a troubled and complex home life. She often comes here for some time out, and while at school has access to good professional counselling. However, it's holiday time, and today she needed to talk about something her mother had said to her.
Apparently she will not go to heaven because she does not respect her parents. She was told that she has in fact failed God and her faith (Catholic, although that's not important), by being insufficiently respectful. For a person with faith, (which, amazingly, she still has), this is a terrible thing.
When I was growing up I was taught that respect is earned, not an automatic response. Fortunately, I had parents it was easy to respect. They did not belittle me, hit me, or inflict emotional abuse. My young friend is not so fortunate.
It is very hard to bite down anger in a situation like this. Using God as a weapon, whatever your beliefs, has to be wrong. Threatening a child with eternal horrors as a consequence of her perceived behaviour is also wrong. And claiming to hold the moral high ground in Christian values while perpetrating emotional and physical abuse is just obscene.
Earlier today I was responding to something on E.L. Wisty's blog, where the discussion was related in part to atrocities committed in the name of religion. Now I find myself with one microcosmic example of a wider syndrome. The trouble is, in each microcosm a human being is being hurt.
"Whatever happened to all that lovely hippy shit?".
Don't know, Pete. I think we could all use a little of it now though.
posted by MargieCM at 12:55 pm
4 Comments:
religion is what some people hide behind to gain power and control..
My sixteen year old daughter has a friend who was sent away from home - apparently she didn't get along with her mother's boyfriend...
The poor dear has been shuffled about from home to home and is now living with her boyfriend who, luckily enough still lives at his dad's home who, luckily enough, is a good friend of ours.
My daughter's friend can come here any time she wants and is always welcome.
I believe our home is her only stable home...
I have no use for structured religion, but I live my life on a very spiritual level.
That can never be used as a tool for leverage.
My heart goes out to your young friend - she is lucky to have you.
Thanks for your comments guys - much appreciated. Gypsy - you are so right, and it is so wrong! Dale, this is so sad. It's great she has your home as a stable haven. I hope she's happy with her boyfriend, and that he is kind and caring. It must be hard though to establish a strong relationship when your own family provides you with such lousy role models.
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