City chic - country style.
I was going through some old photos today and found this. I have no idea exactly when or where it was taken, but I think my mother (on the right ) must have been about 19 or 20 at the time. She was not yet married, and I vaguely recall her telling me it was when she invited a city friend of hers home to her family's place in country Victoria for a weekend visit.
Mum was working in Melbourne then, having made the (very unpopular) decision to look further afield than the delights of the Western District farmlands for her future.
In a close-knit rural community, anyone who left in those days was considered something of a class traitor. Never let anyone tell you Australia is a classless society - we just do it differently. To the day she died, most of her family genuinely believed she felt she was too good for them, and it caused her a great deal of pain. The concept of adventuring beyond where you "belonged" at that time, especially for a woman, was just not on. Going off to war was the only legitimate excuse for roaming, and then of course the women had to remain to run the farms and businesses by themselves.
Mum's father returned from the war but had been gassed, and was an invalid for some years before succumbing to a cancer most probably caused by its effects. It was considered that the boys (five of them) needed an education or trade, so Mum was obliged to leave school at fourteen to maintain the house and look after their needs while her mother nursed her father around the clock. Gender equality came late to the bush.
After her father's death she set up her own small business making ball gowns for the local debs and doing general dressmaking - no mean feat in those days for a young girl - but it wasn't enough. Theatre, art, music, parties and a social circle beyond the local squatters' offspring beckoned, and she responded.
I love this photo. It shows two elegant, confident young women, who would have been given a pretty rough time for showing up in their city clobber complete with pearls, heels and sheer stockings. They seem to have a sort of conspiratorial Attitude to them.
Mum often went back. She loved her family, she loved the green velvet hills and the gums that lined the roads and paddocks, and deeply respected the people who worked the land. She just did it on her own terms.
posted by MargieCM at 2:46 pm
39 Comments:
Hi Margie,
This is such a wonderful post again.
Your mother chose right to go on her own terms, I think. You cannot give up your dreams because the society tells you to.
This picture is wonderful. It reminds me of a picture of my grandmother and her two sisters, from maybe 1930, 1931, 1932 (my grandmother would have been 18-20 then, her sisters older by several years): it shows three young, beautiful women, enjoying life, dressed in the latest fashions of the time from shoes to hats. They were not rich upper class (although their father had owned estates); it was just that the eldest of the sisters was a professional dressmaker, and as they lived in Viipuri (very close to St. Peterburg, in south-east in the part of Karelia which was annexed by the Soviets in the war), then a culturally rich and cosmopolitan city, all the latest fashion influences were available. In fact, her dream was to open her own fashion store, but the war shattered that dream.
Oh Margie I just love that picture!..so Chic and almost black and white hollywood! very glamorous..
Your mum was indeed brave for the time to step out the norm.
Those were tough times with the war and all..
Sad about your Grandfather though..Heartbreaking infact..
It must make you very proud of your mam..
Thankyou for sharing it!..
P.S..I can see a resemblance with you and your mam and mads too, it's quiet uncanny..
Margie,
Got into my head to ask: I've got the same photo of Pete the bug and the water drop in my Flickr page. Would you mind if I posted your story there as well, with a link to your blog?
Margie, there is a class to this photo that is real, and nothing to do with money or station in society. The elegance and confidence these two girls demonstrate puts them in their own league. How beautifully groomed they were! They must have been brave indeed to step out of the mould like that, and your mother clearly had that courage, integrity and humour that she has passed on to her lovely daughter.
So sad to hear about her own father though. That was a tough call, especially as it meant that she herself had to give up her schooling. As women, we have it so good these days don't we?
The black and white also gives the photo a special quality. Love it!
Thanks for the lovely comments Maria, Gyps and Vally.
Maria, after reading your first post I tried to work out the date - my mother was born in 1929, so it must have been taken some time in the late forties I think.
If you can find your picture, maybe you could post it? I love looking at old pictures either knowing or guessing something about the people in them.
The war shattered a lot of dreams, although of course through necessity it also gave women more to do than cook and clean. Of course they were expected to go back to the kitchen when the men came home - those who did come home. Very difficult.
You're very welcome to post the bug story. Re-reading it now it seems a tad wet (if you'll pardon the pun), but I did have fun doing it, and the picture itself is astonishingly beautiful. You must spend a lot of your time crawling through the undergrowth on your hands and knees!
Gypsy, thank you - yes, I am proud of her. She had a pretty tough life at home, and rarely talked about it, but later in life she made up for her lack of formal education by reading voraciously and taking adult classes, as well as looking after us and making all our clothes when we were young. She was warm and funny and brilliant.
As for the resemblance, I seem to look more like her as I grow older (funny, that), but only in some respects. My sister is more like her. Mads looks more European, but the genes are certainly in there.
Val, you're right about the grooming - if I dress for a day in the country now, I pull on jeans and a jumper and sling a coat or jacket on, maybe elastic-sided boots - very practical, but hardly elegant. They had style in those days!
I think the war turned a lot of things upside down and in some ways it made it easier to break free - when all other rules are broken, why not? In the country though, modern thinking was a bit slow in coming, so yes, it took courage.
Mum never talked about her father's illness - I think it must have been pretty traumatic for them all, and she saw most of his suffering while the boys were at school. I suppose in those days and in such places, it wasn't unusual for girls to leave school early to help at home until they married. You're right - we've come a long way!
I loved all the storys my Mam told me about the War..
What always struck me was how resouceful and tough they were.
Through-out all the horrors they hung on to humour, romance and style..
We will never see the likes of their Generation again..
Hear hear Gypsy. It's a shame to think that we have to have a tough life to rise above the mundane and mediocre- collectively speaking, but sometimes it seems that way. Perhaps we have it too good these days!
Hi Margie,
Good on her, for doing it on her own terms. She sounds like an amazing, strong, beautiful person. I love the photo.
Designing ball gowns - that is a talent to appreciate.
I think to some extent doing things out of the class or the ordinary in your 'circle' is still looked on in question.
Lovely post Margie
"Women are aristocrats, and it is always the mother who makes us feel that we belong to the better sort."
John Lancaster Spalding, Things of the Mind
What a wonderful photo - of a time that needs not be forgotten.
I have seen equally beautiful photos of my own mother in that time.
It makes me sigh...
As I have often been chastised by my own family for doing things "on my own terms", too.
What a terrific tale, and I can relate of course having flown the coop in Ireland. But before that, when I moved from my wee town to Belfast (not a big city by any stretch of the imagination), locals used to say with a smidgeon of disapproval that I had moved off to The Big Smoke.
Hi Margie:
Lovely photos both this and the post prior. I love old photos, you can really get lost in them, can't you. And the pix of who I will assume is your daughter. Amazing what happens when we nurture kids and expose them to the arts, right. I'd love to hear her play...
a lot of schools are removing the music and arts programs and saying they are not as necessary as Math and Science. I wholeheartedly disagree...
shame on them
Save the Music!!!
-Lin
Oh you're a wise lot.
Gypsy and Val, I agree - for all of what we call today's stresses, most of us are not getting shot at, not going hungry, and not in danger of having our loved ones and homes destroyed. Sadly of course, there are still many who are.
Gypsy, the Brits of that generation leave me staggering with their resilence, fortitude and humour. I' glad your mam passed on some stories.
Grace and Paul, I think you're both right there - stepping outside the path set out for us is tough even now, and to step away from your "roots" can seem threatening to those who are left behind. There is a feeling of rejection I suppose. "The Big Smoke". And always said with a disparaging sneer.
Dale, that is a stunner of a quote - thank you! Love it to bits, and I shall use it. Yes, old photos are great to have - especially the early ones where we are reminded our parents had lives of their own before we arrived! Keep doing things on your own terms - they seem pretty sound to me.
Lin - it is shameful indeed that music and the arts in general are not given the attention and funding they deserve in most children's education. Yes, Madeleine's my eldest (of three) daughters. The thing is though, she wouldn't be where she is today if she hadn't first heard the violin played, then been given the opportunity to learn it, and had wonderful teachers and a brilliantly supportive school.
Think of all the fine young potential musos out there we're missing out on ...
Margie,
There is truly an elegance to that generation. I have often looked at my father and mother's photos from just after the war, and there is such style, even from those who had little in terms of disposable income. Going out meant wearing your best clothes, and there was such pride and formality in the way they carried themselves. I sometimes think the world could look back and take a cue from them.
Hi Margie, I am enjoying posting videos in addition to just photos!! I am expanding my computer knowledge!!
xx
Hi Margie!
On that photo of my grandmother and her sisters: it was something my gran showed me when I was visiting her as a kid, I think my mother has it now as my gran passed away in 2000. I'll ask her.
In the meantime, here is that photo of my beginning with the violin, which I mentioned earlier. I don't have a scanner so I couldn't scan the picture, but I managed to take quite a good photo of it.
Margie, you wanted to know what I thought of Tollbooth. Well, maybe my latest post will give you an inkling......
Margie, this is a beautiful tribute to your mother. I popped over here from Gypsys myspace with the Song of the Black Swan still lingering in my head. Something in me connecting the beauty of the song with the picture.
~Lace~
Maria, I just looked at your picture playing the violin as a child. YOU ARE ADORABLE!
~Lace~
It was a time where sweeping the 'bad' stuff under the carpet was the norm and holding on very tightly to the things one cherished dearly, such as friendships (like the friendship that is illuminated so well in this photo).
They are both showing off their lovely ankles. Is it possible to be really stylish while not having your feet suffer the consequences for it? (A woman who is not known for her style what-so-ever asks, humbly?)
Erm...I'm not certain how to put this delicately, Margie, awkward coincidence - I'm moving to Kiwi-land (with my family) next year (Dec.2008)! We aren't going into sheep farming but we won't be living in one of New Zealand's large cities, either...my boyfriend is orinally from there.
Back again - must try to get a new post up today.
Anne Marie - I agree with you. It's all about style, and somehow today's more casual looks don't often have it.
Grace - you put me to shame, but I'm going to trip over to yours again today to see what else you've found to play with!
Oh Maria, I have looked at your photo and it is simply wonderful. You look like the perfect young violin student, and so beautiful. I love the look of complete concentration on your face. thanks you so much for posting it.
Vally, so you've started? I haven't visited you (or anyone!) for a couple of days, so I can't wait to skip over and see how you like it - I'm very excited.
Lace, I am still not on Myspace, and am fiercely resisting the temptation as I find it hard enough to find time to keep in touch with people here, but I know I'm missing a lot. Thank you for the lovely comment. And YES, isn't Little Maria adorable? Those blonde plaits!
Ooooer, Tanstripe, I was afraid that would happen! However, as I'm sure your boyfriend will attest, there are many more similarly tasteless and gratuitously offensive jokes about Australians, and we've heard them all! I hope I didn't offend. I'm really ashamed to say I've never been to New Zealand, although my brother-in-law lived there for a couple of years and I really do have several friends who grew up there. I know it is truly beautiful though, both in the North and South islands.
Where are you moving to? There is so much spectacular landscape, and it sounds as if you're headed for somewhere smaller than Wellington, Auckland or Christchurch. And I promise - no more sheep jokes. (We have more here anyway).
Oh, and yes, you can be stylish without heels. Remember Audrey Hepburn in her ballet flats? And they never go out of style.
Margie, I did not mean to offend either, I'm truly very sorry, Heidi
Good morning Margie,
thank's for visiting my blog. I'm at my business and I have no much time to write. I think you're, right with the camper or here in Germany Bulli.
Here is a link and you can have a look.
http://www.vwn.de/transporter/bulli.html
I promise to come back and read your post.
Love and peace
Stefan
You certainly didn't Heidi - not at all! For me, anything is fair game as long as it's funny and not said or written with malice in mind. I was just afraid you might not have shared that line of thinking - many don't. I can see nothing anywhere you've written which would ever offend. On the contrary, you sound like an absolute sweetie.
M x
Oh, and Stefan sneaked in while I was tapping away! Thanks for the link Stefan - you're right - it is exactly the same. I wonder why we call them Kombi vans? For COMBInation (of uses), I suppose, but with a "K" so it looks German.
The VW Kombi is a legend around these parts. Traditionally, many young people finish school or uni and travel across Australia in them. Younger tourists too. They often break down, (the Kombis, not the tourists), but hey, that's adventure for you.
In London, it used to be that you could always pick one up cheaply in Earl's Court Road (an old Australian tourist heartland) from a fellow-traveller on his or her way home. I suspect some of those things passed through the hands of several generations of adventure-bound Aussies!
Margie,
I know what you're on about when you talk of kombi vans! My parents had a love affair with volkswagons for many years. My Dad owend 10 beetles (most of which he crashed!) for their honeymoon in 1964 they even drove up to Queensland in one.
When we had the pub in the early years my Dad had a Kombi which he used for picking up supplies and stuff.
I feel a bit weird asking you this. I feel that I now know you pretty well and was wondering if now that the weather is improving you would like to meet up with me sometime. (even at my place for a taste of my brothers wine) I have been thinking about this for a while and sort of reckoned it would be a lovely way to bond our blogging friendship.
even meet for a coffee or something would be kind of nice!
Luv
Neans
Hi Margie,
here I'm again.
I found a link on wikipedia about the VW Bulli. I had a T3 California camper. This was such a fantasic car. I traveled to England, Wales, Scotland, Sweden, Norway and so on.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volkswagen_Type_2
Have a grat day.
Love and peace from far over the ocean.
Stefan
Ooooh yes Lace..
Margie, you are already well into Friday, heading into the weekend, you crazy aussies, things all turned upside down!!:) Have a good one.
xx
Neans, that's a fabulous idea - i am actually very flattered you would want to meet up, with my being a good bit older than you are and positively daggy by comparison, but I'm definately up for it. I will email you.
Going to a '70's school reunion tomorrow night (no idea why!), and off to the Melba Spiegeltent soiree as part of the Fringe Festival on Sunday (actually with some good friends who are 30 and 32, so maybe age is not an issue after all). Will probs drop you a line on Monday and see what you'd like to do and when.
Really glad to see you're a VW family - our first family car (after an old banger of a Citroen while I was still in utero) was a VW beetle. can still remembre the rego number - HKZ778. Bizarre.
Like your new profile pic btw - very glam!
Stefan, you lucky thing! My girls dream of owning one of those.
Gypsy - just as well you didn't know Maria back then - you might have corrupted her young soul so instead of becoming a respected historian with a Doctorate and a major grant for post-doc research, she might have ended up nursing a bottle of Noir Shampain behind the abbatoir.
Yes, Grace, it's now Friday just after 6.30 at night, and having come home from work, instead of getting something approximating dinner, I'm doing this. Haha! Could be every man for himself here tonight. (I am typing standing on my head just to make you feel at home!)
Oh wow what a lovely picture, I love black n white photos, my mam has a few like that of her and her mam when she was little, the oldies were the best - not like today when posterity involves nothing but a click on a camera phone and shoved in some "file" to be lost in the ether, those were the days of frames, albums and shoeboxes, I love it!
The old time hair styles and clothes aswell are just fabulous!
Oh and erm...Marcie, all shapes, sizes and ages came to our class, you do feel very concious at first, I was nervous about my skinny arms not being strong enough! But when you get into it its great fun and really nice to have a girlie laugh with other women, no men around to make u get shy!
You should give it a go hun! xx
Some people dream of nursing a bottle of Noir Shampain behind the abbatoir!..;0)
Margie, stay away from Myspace, it's as addicting as blogger. I've promised myself time and again I would just lurk and not start posting, because once you start.......................
::Signs up for Blogger anon::
~Lace~
NEANS WE MUST BE RELATED. My father had nothing but vw bugs the whole time I was growing up. Most had no heaters, once he drove across a frozen lake with me screaming the whole time.
Yes, we must be related.
~Lace~
Ahem Margie, maybe youz'd like to come an ave a look at sindybon's fashun show... S'not in black an white though...tee hee, s'black an tan..
luv an lotsa lix
Sindybin
xxx
I've been away from my computer for a long stretch but am back now.
This post is beautiful and a wonderful tribute to the mother that you obviously love and respect so much.
Good for her to live her life her own way. The obstacles that life put in front of her were difficult, but she did it.
Good on her!
Chaz - thanks for the encouragement - I'll add it to my list of things to try. Mind you, I was at a sort of circus / cabaret performance last night, and I thought the silk rope aerialist thing looked like fun too!
Gyps - you're right of course. had a bit of the bubble myself last night. Not behind the abbatoir, but pretty close ...
Lace - across a frozen lake??? Thrillseeker Dad! No wonder you were screaming. As for Myspace, I can see how much my eldest daughter put into it, and I daren't follow. Life is crammed with things to do already.
Sindy darling I'll be there in a mo I promise - just let me finish this first (and isn't black and tan a drink?)
Lesley, you've been busy I know - hope everything was great. Thanks so much for the lovely comment.
And I WILL get a new post up today or die in the attempt.
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