Back in the Room
Maybe a fleeting visit for now, but back. All is well, but life has been full and busy and in the past few weeks there have always been things that took precedence over my indulgent little visits here. I've missed it a great deal.
Thanks for all your lovely and thoughtful comments on that last epic. I should probably blog some utter tripe now to compensate for its seriousness. Easy - here we go:
A Slattern's Alphabet*
* I'm not really a slattern, and my house is not this bad (not quite), but writing this makes it seem better. This photo, by the way is called "Marguerite a la cuisine" - I kid you not - and is by Frederic Tran.
A is for awful, the state of my floors,
B for the broom which is used for such chores.
C is for clutter all over the place,
D is for dusting, of which there's no trace.
E is the effort required to fix all,
F starts the word when I trip in the hall.
G is the buzz when I throw something out,
H is the hope it gets easier (I doubt).
I is for "in case", ('cause you never know ...)
J for the junk which I just cannot throw.
K stands for Kitsch, which I try to avoid,
L for the lack of a domestic droid.
M could be mess, mucky, muddle or mould,
N might be crumpled up sheets yet to fold.
O is the option of crying in sorrow,
P is the promise to do it tomorrow.
Q is the quibble of who does which chores,
R for the rubbish on teenage girls' floors.
S must be sanity, threatened by chaos,
T will be tarnish, which builds up in layers
U is the uses a sponge can employ,
V: Vaccuum cleaner - what a fun toy.
W for water which washes and cleans,
X marks the spot where a nail tore my jeans.
Y is the yellowing paint which was white
and Z is the zoo here that somehow feels right.
Mission accomplished / tripe delivered.
Thanks for all your lovely and thoughtful comments on that last epic. I should probably blog some utter tripe now to compensate for its seriousness. Easy - here we go:
A Slattern's Alphabet*
* I'm not really a slattern, and my house is not this bad (not quite), but writing this makes it seem better. This photo, by the way is called "Marguerite a la cuisine" - I kid you not - and is by Frederic Tran.
A is for awful, the state of my floors,
B for the broom which is used for such chores.
C is for clutter all over the place,
D is for dusting, of which there's no trace.
E is the effort required to fix all,
F starts the word when I trip in the hall.
G is the buzz when I throw something out,
H is the hope it gets easier (I doubt).
I is for "in case", ('cause you never know ...)
J for the junk which I just cannot throw.
K stands for Kitsch, which I try to avoid,
L for the lack of a domestic droid.
M could be mess, mucky, muddle or mould,
N might be crumpled up sheets yet to fold.
O is the option of crying in sorrow,
P is the promise to do it tomorrow.
Q is the quibble of who does which chores,
R for the rubbish on teenage girls' floors.
S must be sanity, threatened by chaos,
T will be tarnish, which builds up in layers
U is the uses a sponge can employ,
V: Vaccuum cleaner - what a fun toy.
W for water which washes and cleans,
X marks the spot where a nail tore my jeans.
Y is the yellowing paint which was white
and Z is the zoo here that somehow feels right.
Mission accomplished / tripe delivered.
posted by MargieCM at 11:31 am
20 Comments:
hahahaha! excellent tripe Margie! serve me up another dose any day! I am excited to hear about the S'Mores!
OOh!, being a good housewife i'll send you a recipe for tripe..NOT!!..
A is for acrid litter tray,
B is for bugger it today.
C is for cats taking the piss,
D is for don't dare when they miss.
E is for dance rave cats,
F is for f**kn little twats!!
Margie oh Margie!
And oh so how is it?
When did you my house
Come to and visit?
Oh Margie, this is excellent....somehow it all feels embarrassingly familiar.
So good to see you here again and the dishing up of the domestic disaster's alphabet sounds rather heartfelt. Still, I love it!
I don't need to guess that you have been horribly busy with no time to do all these troublesome chores. I'm a tad busy myself right now but will be back soon. Big hugs xxx
A is for applause for you,
that's all I wanna say,
then B is for a beer for me,
and I'll leave the rappin' to Kanye...
Oh I love the ABC's!! And I am so glad you came by my blog, I missed you. I am going to look for that Robin Williams Sesame Street on Youtube, everything else is there?!!
take care, xox
By the way Margie, do you know the difference between a slattern and a sloth?
A sloth will spill some wine on her blouse, and put on a cardigan to cover up the stain. A slattern takes off the blouse, throws into the three month heap of dirty clothes she's shoved under the sofa, and pulls another one out from under to take its place...
Maybe being a sloth isn't quite so bad after all....?
great word though, slattern. kind of rolls off the tongue, don't you think?
oops, that is actually me, stevie, but emily was logged in! haha!
Margie! I found that Robin Williams stint on Sesame Street with the shoe and the bannana on Youtube, your are right funny stuff!! I knew it would be on Youtube. I tried to attach the link, but alas, I don't know how.
:(
BTW Margie, Arie is coming closer to the point now!
MargieCM:
OK then...
A is for animal...we all walk swim or talk
B is for boring...remember all that math chalk?
C is for callous...so many have thick skin
D is for delerious...are we not happy when we win?...
Ah...on it might go...I conjured this in two minutes...maybe I oughta write a book, a sonnet, an opera, a mini-opera....
!!!
You have installed an amazing and fun list on your blog. I bow and thank you.
--Dan L.
Ha ha you lovely lot it's so nice to be back.
StevieEmilyEmilyStevie, I'm glad you like this sort of tripe - you've come to the right place. And yes, slattern is a WONDERFUL word. All housecoat, hot rollers and fag hanging out of the mouth.
Gypsy, thanks for witholding your tripe recipe. I'm game for most things, but I think I'd struggle with that - although I did once see an especially beautiful French pot which apparently was designed to cook and serve tripe dishes. I'd try it if I could keep the pot. I love your truncated alphabet. House training not happening then?
Dale you in rhyme too! And it's very reassuring to see that I'm not alone in my lack of domestic order.
Vally, heartfelt it was, but I'm working on it! I have now printed all of Arie's story to date (well, up to part one of Chapter 4) - I took it with me down to the Bay last weekend and sat in bed listening to the distant sea, and re-read from the beginning. Bliss. I will be over to comment and pick up some more (I hope) in a minute.
Thanks you so much for clearing up the distinction between Slattern and Sloth. I am relieved to say I am mostly the latter, although there have been times ... but of that, better no more said.
Paul, mine's a gin and tonic thanks, although I'm being quite restrained on that score of late.
Grace - is it really there? I must go and have another look - I'd love to see it again. As for posting a link, the only way I know how to do it is copy and paste the URL, and then whoever's interested can do the same.
Dan, yes please, more. You could even do an ABC of the Great Outdoors. It would at least be healthier than mine.
Grace - I found it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p47bGlZuDA
It still makes me laugh.
The cats are house trained, they just go on dirty protests every now and then to punish me...
My mam used to cook tripe with black pudding, I swear I would rather starve than eat that! YUK!..
Now I know where the saying comes from when people say "What a load of tripe"..it's ghastly stuff!, white and wrinkley, infact thats what I look like when i've stayed in the bath too long..heh!..
Hey ho Margie, I've responded in kind on Dale's blog. I loved your rhyme, but of course it needed a response and I couldn't resist!
PS thank you soooooo much for your long and thoughtful comment on my Arie blog. I have responded to that too, but there so as not to take up your space here. Bless you xxx
oh good you found it! :)
Tripe and black pudding ... now there's a meal to leave home for. No wonder Northerners are so resilient and determined - if you can survive that, you're bulletproof!
Excellent tripe! Hmm. Slatternly. I was just recently reading a Pete and Dud sketch (which survives only in print due to the criminal activity of BBC) which features that excellent word.
PETE: I was waiting by the stop with my Spitfire under my arm, and suddenly this fantastic bird come up to me, stood by me. She was an incredibly sensuous-looking creature with all the fire of Egypt plunging out of her peekaboo blouse, lightly covered with a see-through shirt.
DUD: And a teasing sweater.
PETE: She had a figure-hugging sweater on, and a duffel coat over the lot of it, and galoshes, and anyway she obviously delved deep into the works of Sartre.
DUD: Obviously spent a couple of years in view of the Seine with some randy poet.
PETE: She'd obviously done that sort of thing, and I could see immediately what she was after. It stands to reason. I'm standing by the bus stop, she comes up, stood to reason. She come to me and she was offering it on a plate.
DUD: Was she really?
PETE: Not literally, Dud. I sometimes with they would. She said, 'Excuse me, does the 83B go up to Gants Hill?' You know what I said? I said, 'Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, what business is it of yours, fat face?' That's the way to treat 'em - rough.
DUD: I don't know how you do it, Pete.
PETE: Oh it's quite easy. I just say the words.
DUD: What happened anyway?
PETE: I said, 'Get out of my life, I never wish to see you again, slatternly woman.'
DUD: What did she do?
PETE: She took my advice - I never seen her again. That's the way - tell them what to do, they'll do it.
Hope life has continued to treat you and the entire family well!
Maria, you've made my day! I can't remember having seen seen that one before, and it's a gem. I still get angry when I think of the BBC's vandalsim all those years ago recording over the tapes. As you say - culturally criminal.
Thanks so much for posting it for me!
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